Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize