I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
