Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
