I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
