butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
