I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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