Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
