How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
