so explain again why im purple
no
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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