Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
where am i from again
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
