If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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