He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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