just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize