So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
