Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
And then he peed in my hair
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