North Korea, Best Korea!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize