so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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