Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
