Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
