Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
