Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
