I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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