well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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