and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
