Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
