Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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