Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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