I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
