who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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