My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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