At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
