I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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