so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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