Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
