I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
