I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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