Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
