yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
