in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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