i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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