you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
