$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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