why do cheetos always look like penises
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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