4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just google imaged poop.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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