You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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