Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
