I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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