I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
