theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
