Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
