so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
