she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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