also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize