we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
why do cheetos always look like penises
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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