I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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