Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
